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DIARY

weeks of struggles…

Man it’s been ages and ages since I’ve updated this thing!!! So what’s been happening??! Not a whole heap in the grand scheme of things actually. Over Easter I went to Katoomba Easter Convention (www.kcc.org.au) with my family, and learnt plenty about The Holy Spirit. There were quite alot of people from church there, so I got to hangout with them somewhat. Apart from that things have been fairly average in terms of events and all, going along to Bible Study, doing Munchkins with the preschool aged kids. I did have some family troubles with them blaming me for the internet not working, but we sorted that out one night with a big talk. Turns out they had some troubles with me being unemployed cause of all the strain on them as well. If anyone can offer job tips, or help me out with acquiring a job then get in touch, it’d be mucho appreciated.

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DIARY

Down….. Not Out

Howdy peoples, Havin some real troubles in the emotions department at the moment, not too happy. Guessin that unemployment has a pretty big part to do with it. As a human being we’re relational beings and I guess that means that we tend to crave contact, interaction and approval from other humans, and I guess from animals as well. This is something that I’m kind of lacking, or not appreciating those which I have. It’s complicated and I’m pretty sure that yall don’t wanna hear about it, so I’ll leave it, but know that it’s a big problem and if I somehow vanish or disappear then this is most probably the reason why.

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D-SiGN

Designer Fun

It’s been a draining few days, but it’s over and time to get back the unfortunate world of unemployment. Over Friday and Saturday I had the priviledge to go to Semi-Permanent to see and hear a bevey of talented designers and directors… The list of speakers goes:

  • Revolver Film
  • Resn
  • Ed Templeton
  • Vice Magazine
  • Qube Konstrukt
  • Dixonbaxi
  • TWiN
  • The Wilderness
  • Psyop
  • Marok
  • PlanBSE
  • Weta Digital

Quite a bit of talent there and some real inspirations, a few sad stories though, like a lot of the stuff that Ed templeton had to say kinda made me feel a bit sorry for him and made me realise how lucky Christians are, but also how sheltered they are. Best speakers for me were Resn and Qube Konstrukt, just cause they were the most relevant to my situation. TWiN were good as well and could well be a vision of my future. Today I headed in to Wesley Mission to ‘help out’ Fleaster with ‘Inspiration’ and have a bit of a Jam. Unfortunately it didn’t turn out the way I thought it would. You see, I thought that there’d be a bunch of guys and girls that are heaps interested in bboying and wanting to learn some stuff, guys that would really listen to you and take some direction. It turned out to be a few guys that are interested in bboying (kinda) well more breakin and popular tricks/moves. So the guys knew some stuff and just wanted specifics which they really don’t have the foundational ability for. Guys were even asking for stuff that I couldn’t do… Something on my brain at the moment is girls and matters of the heart. It’s a crazy thing and I have some form of a love hate ‘relationship’ with it. I want it real bad, but I don’t have the guts to go after it properly cause I’m afraid that I’ll get hurt. But then it hurts not to have it as well, but such is life and we really don’t have that much control over things, because God is always in control, he wants the best for us, and is looking out for out best interests and not our wants, which in the whole scheme of things is fantastic.

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D-SiGN

Flutterby

Things have been pretty stagnant, slow and slack over the last two days. Yesterday was almost a complete write off with pretty much procrastination and time wastage the whole day long. This morning was much the same, but I consciously decided to get up and out of the house for the afternoon and go and do some work where the self-distractions are less. Armed with about 7 reference resumes/CVs, an email from Mike Barry of , my latest sketchbook, several pens and a pacer, I headed off to Macquarie Centre to sink my teeth/hands into some design related work, both for getting me a job and improving my skills. Odd place I know, especially whenMultimedia usually consists of computerised stuff, but I actually managed to get a fair whack of work done. I proceeded to ‘The Loft Cafe‘ and 2 Lattes ‘later I’d gone through the CVs and found some good language to use and several pointers for structure and style, as well as planning some CHONGLAND extensions and refurbishments, including Jacques De and Lambs2Slaughter ‘mini-sites’. Big bonus was some of the company that happened to be at the cafe, let’s just say that she is real pretty and has a great smile. Luckily I got to have a short chat and that was expanded on/developed later on. The bad thing is that I’m struggling to get to sleep now, not sure if it’s the 2 Lattes’ or if it’s the great feeling that comes about when you talk to a nice person, but if this keeps up I might need some sleeping pills or something. All in all a good day that seems to be shaping up a great week to come. Props to all involved

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DIARY

I may be poor, but I AM….. GODs CHILD

Hey everyone, hope things are well, and if they’re not then the struggles are building you up in some way, shape or form. For me it’s been up and down. I was fortunate enough to work last monday and tuesday with Geoff as a labourer. I also got to hang out with about 14 three & four year old kids at Munchkins on wednesday morning whilst the women have prayer and bible study groups and that was heaps of fun. Kids are on the most part innocent and intuitive, plus they have a great sense of freedom in thought and action. Oh to have the innocent mind of a child again, how great would it be!!! I visited my cousin a couple times in Hospital. She had some problems with Epilepsy I think, and it was pretty severe, so the doctors opened up her head and tinked around in there. She had this cool scar across her skull with staples holding it together, but she’s out of hospital now, and the doctors are pleased with her progress. I went to the engagement party of a couple at church and caught up with various people from church there, met some new ones and got to know some more people, which is always good. Tonight at church we heard Mike speak on John, and how if we believe then God adopts us as his children, even though we are scoundrels, misfits, rebels that are lowly beings when compared to God. He accepts us and brings us into his family. How amazing and wonderful is that!!! After church a fairly large contingent went to Jem’s place and I had the priviledge of talking to more people and getting to know them, and so right now I’m feeling good, even though I may not be in the best position if you look at it from ‘the worlds’ point of view, but I’m happy and satisfied.

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DIARY

Weekend Reminise

The weekend is over, finally…. It’s been a pretty big and tiring one, but fun nonetheless. Saturday involved a long trip out to Windsor for THE housewarming of Altamira & Lisa AKA Godzprincess & MerCee. The Lino on underlay was good, could have been bigger and less kiddies would have been better, but you take what you get. In attendance from the “IdM” arena were Nebster, Son Of Thunder, Whackrhymes & Fleaster. “Ex-pats” there were Zest*One and Kinetic. I got some good video footage so when I’ve cut that all up and together, I’ll whack it up for yall to see. Saturday night saw the onslaught that was 2Tribes. Of the Internationals, I managed to see Prodigy for 1 track (before sound cut out and I didn’t bother to wait for the HOUR that it took to get it back on), Luke Chable, Signum, Grandmaster Flash, Dave Seaman, Armand Van Helden, M.I.K.E. Push and Rank 1. Most were pretty good, some were a little unexpected though. Pick of the night was Dave Seaman with his smooth flowing Progressive and enjoyable antics behind the decks. Sunday was a day of sleep for the most part and today I laboured again, my hands are really showing it though, and my back is feeling it. But my wallet and the economy is a bit happier. Well, I’m about ready to hit the sack, so off to make my lunch for tomorrow and pass out in bed. Till Next time!

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DIARY

Rich & Fearless

I just saw ‘The Aviator‘ with JamesShaunRodAmy and Big Pauly. It was an interesting film with many ups and downs. I find it amazing the calibre of mind that rich people have, when I say rich, I mean rich business people generally. They seem to be able to come up with these large scale ideas that are pretty risky, yet they have almost no qualms about it (well, nothing visible). I don’t believe I’ll be a rich businessman anytime soon, cause I have trouble deciding what to buy at the grocery store, and fearless?? well, I’m even afraid to talk to certain girls… Nuff Said!!!

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DIARY

Bad (Read: Good) Wake Up Call

This morning I was just half awake around 7 am, wanting to get some more sleep, when who should ring but a mate from church, Geoff. He asks me if I was doing anything today and if not, did I want to go and work on site with him. I said yeah, and he gave me the address and told me to be there at 8. within about 20 minutes, I had showered, dressed, eaten breakfast (well, a bowl of Kellogg’s Komplete) and out the door. The day was pretty good, moved bricks, did some ‘paving’, dug some trench, carted some sand around, swept some floors, and now I’m just a little bit more tired, perhaps a tiny bit ‘bigger’ and a bit richer as well. Plus I got to meet Geoff‘s boss, Arthur, and have a bit of a chat to Geoff about how things are going. Had a pretty nice dinner tonight, my sister cooked Minestrone, Garlic Bread, Veal, Potatoes and Peas. Went down a treat. The weekend brings on some fun and games, which should be good. I’ll be heading to a housewarming where I’ve been told there will be Lino on underlay, so plenty of bboying to be done, and then I’m heading to 2Tribes with ‘The Boys‘ to see Prodigy, Dave Seaman, Armand Van Helden, Signum, and a host of other international and local DJs. Plus on Sunday I have church, which is always good. Thinking I’ll have to get my act together and talk to a certain someone I’m interested in and see how things go from there. Off to see ‘The Aviator‘ now.

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DIARY

SIIIIIICCCCKK!!!!!!

Well, it’s almost official – I’m coming down with some viruscoldsorethroat thing and my family just thinks that I’m in a bad mood, if only they read this thing (hey that sounds like a good idea actually). You know that crisis thing I was talking about not having, I think I may actually be having it, or else all the hype has brought one on. I’m having difficulties working out what my lot in life is at the moment and what I’m supposed to do, and this is affecting my happiness and some of the relationships in my life. Sure, on the outside I’m still the nice friendly guy that I am most of the time, perhaps a bit more reserved than usual, but inside I’m shrivelling up all emotional and I feel like I just want to vanish and not have to deal with anything at all. For a lot of people, the hopelessness of not having a job and therefore having limited funding, having few good friends that don’t have time for you because they have ‘better’ friends might be enough to put them six foot under, BUT I’m a bit of a trooper, AND I have something that is much much more reliable than the things of this world. I have the Assurance of Jesus that things will get better, and in the end, I will be with him in his Glorious New Jerusalem. One of the things that I heard last night in the Sermon at church was to continue doing the work of the Lord because it’s not in vein. How good is that?!?! One of the things I’m looking forward to this year (yes I know it’s March, but don’t you know that everything starts when Uni goes back?!?!) is more bible study. In bible study, I’ve made a request to go ahead and do Leviticus, which should be interesting, and I’m going ahead with PTC (despite my feeling of failure in NT4) and doing ‘Intro to the Bible’ which is where you’re supposed to start off. And I’m hoping that it’ll give me more chances to meet new people and develop relationships with more people from church. Anyhoo, sleep and liquids are supposed to get me better, so this is me signing off. Holla if you’re out there and reading this dribble.

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DIARY

Nice girls with great smiles

It’s been almost 2 weeks since my last post and not a heap has happened, well kind of a lot has happened, but they’re mainly just little things that most people would find pretty insignificant. So let me just outline the things I have done, and if any spark any interest at all, there’s always the ability to expand in a comment or a post if it’s warranted.

  • I celebrated my 25th Birthday. Celebrations were just a bbq and a couple of quiet beers with Geoff and Jase.
  • I went ‘away‘ to Crosslands Convention Centre for a St Pauls Weekend Away. We learnt some pretty neato stuff about Psalms, and Slovenia, and I met some people and got to know some others, kind of. (I made the booklet for the weekend and subsequently after including my logo on there people asked me about CHONGLAND and said they would visit….)
  • I did my PTC exam. The unit was New Testament 4. I couldn’t seem to get the words out on paper, even though I felt that I knew the stuff

So that’s some of the stuff that happened in the last fortnight… but now for things on my mind: I suppose to someone who is a bit more pessimistic or not particularly hopeful (apologies if you fall into the category) what I’m about to describe could somewhat be described as a ‘quarter-life crisis‘. I’ve been particularly aware of myself in my thinking patterns as well as how other people percieve me and it’s rather interesting, since around different people, in different situations it seems that I’m almost a different person. Sure there are some personality traits that remain the same and in tact, which I suppose you could call the core elements of Sam Law, but other traits fly straight out the window, or do a complete 180 degree turn. So which Sam do you know?? Is he the quiet, somewhat conservative, always agreeing, nice guy, or do you know the one that is outlandish, active, big mouthed, mostly sarcastic jester?? Perhaps you’re privilledged enough to have met them both, or even know a combination. If you’ve gotten this far in the post (or skipped a lot of nonsense) then you may be wondering why I am questioning myself. I’d say that the number one reason is females and the search to find a companion with whom I may be able to spend my latter years conversing and growing old with. I guess I’ve always been a fan of girls, but alas have not always been appreciated as a fan (may I refer to one such ‘stalker‘ incident). I often catch my mind wandering, you could say, in a state of ‘cerebral prowing’. Every analysing those that are around me, no matter who they are, where they come from, even whether or not I know them, AND this SCARES me!!!! because I know that I am not like that, even the jester in me would not come down there. I figure myself as a bit of a romantic, but I guess that all remains to be seen…. The other reason that I write this is because I wonder if I am alone in this ‘multi-persona’ sandwich. Do others find that amongst certain people, or at different places, they are different?? If anyone has any answers, comments, observations, don’t hesitate to hit that comment button. Enough ranting, especially at this time of night.