Well, it’s almost official – I’m coming down with some viruscoldsorethroat thing and my family just thinks that I’m in a bad mood, if only they read this thing (hey that sounds like a good idea actually). You know that crisis thing I was talking about not having, I think I may actually be having it, or else all the hype has brought one on. I’m having difficulties working out what my lot in life is at the moment and what I’m supposed to do, and this is affecting my happiness and some of the relationships in my life. Sure, on the outside I’m still the nice friendly guy that I am most of the time, perhaps a bit more reserved than usual, but inside I’m shrivelling up all emotional and I feel like I just want to vanish and not have to deal with anything at all. For a lot of people, the hopelessness of not having a job and therefore having limited funding, having few good friends that don’t have time for you because they have ‘better’ friends might be enough to put them six foot under, BUT I’m a bit of a trooper, AND I have something that is much much more reliable than the things of this world. I have the Assurance of Jesus that things will get better, and in the end, I will be with him in his Glorious New Jerusalem. One of the things that I heard last night in the Sermon at church was to continue doing the work of the Lord because it’s not in vein. How good is that?!?! One of the things I’m looking forward to this year (yes I know it’s March, but don’t you know that everything starts when Uni goes back?!?!) is more bible study. In bible study, I’ve made a request to go ahead and do Leviticus, which should be interesting, and I’m going ahead with PTC (despite my feeling of failure in NT4) and doing ‘Intro to the Bible’ which is where you’re supposed to start off. And I’m hoping that it’ll give me more chances to meet new people and develop relationships with more people from church. Anyhoo, sleep and liquids are supposed to get me better, so this is me signing off. Holla if you’re out there and reading this dribble.
It’s been almost 2 weeks since my last post and not a heap has happened, well kind of a lot has happened, but they’re mainly just little things that most people would find pretty insignificant. So let me just outline the things I have done, and if any spark any interest at all, there’s always the ability to expand in a comment or a post if it’s warranted.
- I celebrated my 25th Birthday. Celebrations were just a bbq and a couple of quiet beers with Geoff and Jase.
- I went ‘away‘ to Crosslands Convention Centre for a St Pauls Weekend Away. We learnt some pretty neato stuff about Psalms, and Slovenia, and I met some people and got to know some others, kind of. (I made the booklet for the weekend and subsequently after including my logo on there people asked me about CHONGLAND and said they would visit….)
- I did my PTC exam. The unit was New Testament 4. I couldn’t seem to get the words out on paper, even though I felt that I knew the stuff
So that’s some of the stuff that happened in the last fortnight… but now for things on my mind: I suppose to someone who is a bit more pessimistic or not particularly hopeful (apologies if you fall into the category) what I’m about to describe could somewhat be described as a ‘quarter-life crisis‘. I’ve been particularly aware of myself in my thinking patterns as well as how other people percieve me and it’s rather interesting, since around different people, in different situations it seems that I’m almost a different person. Sure there are some personality traits that remain the same and in tact, which I suppose you could call the core elements of Sam Law, but other traits fly straight out the window, or do a complete 180 degree turn. So which Sam do you know?? Is he the quiet, somewhat conservative, always agreeing, nice guy, or do you know the one that is outlandish, active, big mouthed, mostly sarcastic jester?? Perhaps you’re privilledged enough to have met them both, or even know a combination. If you’ve gotten this far in the post (or skipped a lot of nonsense) then you may be wondering why I am questioning myself. I’d say that the number one reason is females and the search to find a companion with whom I may be able to spend my latter years conversing and growing old with. I guess I’ve always been a fan of girls, but alas have not always been appreciated as a fan (may I refer to one such ‘stalker‘ incident). I often catch my mind wandering, you could say, in a state of ‘cerebral prowing’. Every analysing those that are around me, no matter who they are, where they come from, even whether or not I know them, AND this SCARES me!!!! because I know that I am not like that, even the jester in me would not come down there. I figure myself as a bit of a romantic, but I guess that all remains to be seen…. The other reason that I write this is because I wonder if I am alone in this ‘multi-persona’ sandwich. Do others find that amongst certain people, or at different places, they are different?? If anyone has any answers, comments, observations, don’t hesitate to hit that comment button. Enough ranting, especially at this time of night.
On the eve my my quarter century of existance I feel a great sadness, and a bit violated. You see last night whilst I was at a Wedding Reception in the city, some villan decided to break into my car (which was “valet” parked, and I use the term valet very very loosely) and steal my ‘friend and companion’ iPodius AKA my iPod. Now know that I’m not a materialistic person and I am getting over my loss. I’m almost as much to blame by leaving it in the car when I should have taken it with me, but alas I am naive. However the fact that someone has gone and taken my property is disturbing and I eagerly await the day when this world that we live in, with all the struggles, crime, and unjustice, is torn down and replaced with God’s perfect kingdom.
Today is my 3rd (??) day back in Oz and it’s lazily good. I’m still a little jetlagged or time-shifted or something. Hong Kong and Singapore are 3 hours behind Australian time, so I’ve infact ‘stepped into the future’ somewhat. Hong Kong is especially more noisy than home and I almost even feel like I’ve gone or am going deaf becuse there’s not much noise at all. So the people that know me are maybe dying to know what I’ve done for the last little while so here goes. I’ve eaten plenty, including about 4 Buffet meals and maybe 6 or 7 Banquets. Went to my cousins (Isabelle) wedding and reception, saw my Nana’s ‘grave’ (well it’s more like a small shelf on a wall, but you geth the drift), saw my Pop in the nursing home (he devoured 2 slices of Mango cake and a bottle of Mango Nectar, but doesn’t seem to remember me. He also sings and is a bit of a clown.), travelled up Victoria Peak and had afternoon tea in a place where my Mum and Dad went on a date (how cute is that??), went to Stanley markets to look at some bargain items, but didn’t end up buying much from there. Saw a fair bit of my relatives and family friends and mum’s old classmates from like High school including a Millionaire. With this guy, we went for a trip on his ‘boat’ (read bigish yacht) to his fish farm pontoons, went to his Japanese restaurant, visited his wife’s preschool, visited his ‘Office’ which seemed more like a house (it is actually bigger than our house) and went to his ‘Mansion’, which is built into the side of a mountain , for dinner, Karaoke and to see his ‘zoo’ which has plenty of birds (including 12? peacocks, dogs and a pig. Tonight at church we heard about rest with God, and it was both reassuring and alarming. We can trust that if we have the belief and trust in God that we will get final rest with him in the end, but it’s not automatic. We need to strive for it. And another good thing is that even if your best friends dissapoint you, Jesus is always there for you. Apart from that it seems that some people from Church have been busy; In the 2 and a half weeks that I was away, 4 couples got engaged!!! I had a good chat tonight with a friend of mine – Delia. I guess I’m a bit down on being invisible and unnoticed or not respected, but she gave me some light on the things that I believe and how they affect the way that other people see me. I’m going to experiment and try to consciencously believe something different and see how people react. Now that I’m back (even though I’ve talked to many a person who didn’t even know I was away) I have to ‘catch up’ on things that I’ve missed out on, like bills and readings. I have to tidy my room, as you can see from these pictures Well that’s a fair bit of reading for you and a long yarn from me. Any thoughts, suggestions, questions, just ask away either via comment or on the forums. Nighty Night
So CHONGLAND is coming along fairly well. I’m happy with the current design, look and feel of things, but it has been a bit of a struggle. I’m utilising XHTML and CSS as the ‘coding technologies’ and I must say that these languages have changed quite a bit since I was at TAFE. The amount of things that you can do with them is incredible, and they’ve made other bits and pieces of HTML absolutely redundant. I’ve also had a dabble at some PHP with a lot of help from Mudweg. As it turns out, Internet Explorer doesn’t like certain transparent images, so I’ve found a lovely workaround on that, but I’m not sure how I’m going to implement it into this blog page…. Anyways, on Thursdays I’ve started the habit of going to ‘The Loft Cafe’, in Macquarie Centre in the afternoons, to go over what we did in PTC the night before. I seem to concentrate a bit better out where there is ambient noise(??) and less controlled distractions, plus the staff are especially friendly. Today I ended up there in the morning, after a haircut, but didn’t have the concentration to do a lot of Bible reading, so after a semi-solid effort, I turned to jotting down my CHONGLAND V2.0 ideas and by gum I had some good ones. They’re looking somewhat hard to implement, and I’d say the chances of me having them ready by the 16th are virtually none, but it’s somewhat of a project to upskill me in Flash and programming. Tomorrow sees a lot of travel organisation and general running about, but I also hope to have a crack at getting some forums up and running, so that when I launch this baby people may actually be able to interact somewhat with me and each other, and I’l also try to get some sort of little card published to hand around to friends and aquaintances so the know CHONGLAND exists. A bit of a techy yarn tonight, but for those that aren’t into all that techy stuff, here’s what happened in my day today. I had a nice haircaut today at ‘Hair After’ at Trafalgar Square in Marsfield by a lovely young lady Carissa. Not as friendly as my previous hairdresser, Sara, there, but nice enough all the same. Apart from drinking coffee, reading the Bible and designing in Macq centre, I collected my winnings on a scratchie, deposited a cheque, bought a pair of board shorts and had a nice chat with a girl from Church (hopefully many more of those to come). 3 Days to launch CHONGLAND and pack for Hong Kong, so looks like busy times ahead, better get some sleep, so I can watch movies on the plane :D