Last Saturday night, despite the rain, I got out to Enmore to the Slyfox for the launch of Fix My Sink; the latest weekly endeavour of S.A.S.H. crew. The main selectors for the night were Session Victim, from Germany; a pair of devoted vinylists, and the guys behind this quirky track that I love from back in 2009 – Memory Lane

It was my first visit to the fox, and I was pleasantly surprised to find the venue nice and intimate, basking in a warm red glow, with the bar leading down the left hand side enticing patrons on to the tiny dance-floor situated at the far end of the room, topped off with a glorious Funktion One system.

The man behind the decks slinging some very tasty vinyl treats was the head honcho from UK based Delusions of Grandeur records Norm de Plume. It was a treat to see & hear him build up the ever so empty dance-floor from 10 patrons sitting on barstools behind tables clearing to a healthy swarm, writhing to the funky disco beats.

Often as I warm to busting out a boogie on the floor (and usually whilst I’m dancing too), I observe my counterparts and fellow patrons, and boy were there some things to see.
First was a pair of girls on the left side of the floor who not-so-subtly encouraged a pair of guys over to them at the start of the night. It was awkwardly odd as they coquettishly obliged, and soon enough had hands and mouths exploring each other. (More tales to these pairs in a minute…)
The next odd mob were a group of 4 women who had taken possession of a table. They were back and forth from the bar, the bathrooms and this table at the back of the dance-floor. After a while, all four up and left the table, taking everything with them and just leaving a slew of mostly emptied glasses in their wake. A couple of girls took up possession, or at least so they thought, with one sitting down and the other leaving her bag there and venturing off to the bathroom. Little to the remainders surprise, the odd mob returned from the bar and proceeded to occupy the table like they’d never left, even though the solitary girl objected, telling them that her friend was sitting there….. There was no competition, however, as she was promptly booted from said table to the shelf opposite the bar. I guess there is safety in numbers and this was the 10th part of the law….

As the floor continued to fill, I found myself being pushed further and further back by the influx of 2-steppers; an illness effecting dance-floors around the world. Eventually I found myself at the tail end of the bar, next to the water-cooler, where I found a couple of lads blocking the way of surprisingly a lot of people wanting to grab free cups of water.

Session Victim taking the reins.
Shot on Red Hydrogen One in manual mode at 1/4 ISO2500 f/1.8

It was from here that I tried to ride the beats that Session Victim were laying down, but with great difficulty as people paraded past to and from the bathroom, dance-floor and bar, plus stand around waiting for friends or just observe the madness going on.

This was also the vantage point from which I witnessed the 2-pair from earlier in the evening do some very strange things, well to me at least…. The first couple ducked into the guys bathroom together; a 2-stall, 4-slot trough & 2 sink space. They were in there for not long… maybe a couple of minutes before returning, looking seemingly disappointed….
Couple 2 however seemed to have a bit more fun; doing the same thing moments later, but lasting in there for a good deal longer. Long enough for a bouncer to come and go from the bathroom on multiple occasions. In the end though, the bouncer got his way with the both of them, knocking on the stall door, getting them out and kicking them from the club.

In the end I got frustrated with little to no room at the end of the bars, I moved to a small niche opposite the bar, finding a little bit of room to do some beat riding, but even then there were plenty of times that others decided that hogging places along that walkway seemed like an ok thing to do. Session Victim ended their set with this cool throwback to the 1950s

And with that it was 3am; witching hour, time to go and apparently also time for minimal noise in Enmore, bringing in headphone mode.

All in all an interesting night!! As I reminisced over it, I come to the realisation that I have a romanticised expectation of most things, especially when heading out.
I wanted the 2-pairs to court each other rather than just dirty hookups in bathroom stalls.
I wanted the girls who left the table to be done and dusted with it; move on, you left the table unattended, it’s no longer yours.
I want the dance-floor to be a place where people actually dance!! Not just the dreaded 2-step, and with some creativity & flair, representing the music being played.
I want people to have decent spacial awareness of their surroundings, being courteous of others, allowing them space to walk & space to dance.

I’m not sure if and when I’ll make it back out to the Slyfox for another Fix My Sink, maybe with a major player. The cons overweighed the pros, but as I further ponder the burdens of being a romantic, maybe I have to come to terms that I’ll probably be let down, or at least lower my expectations.

Peace Out!!!